Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day

When you don't have a child in this world anymore it does not appear you are a mother.
And even harder when new people have entered your life when your child has left your life. They never knew you as a mom and maybe can't even picture it. So as we approach tomorrow it is difficult. For many reasons. It is hard for all those moms that celebrate and get recognized and you get forgotten about. Then your little girl is gone and all you want is her more then ever on your special day.

Here is how I know I am still a mother even 3 years after my precious died.
I miss her immensely. More then I ever knew was possible. Still. And always will.
I would give up my home, business, my health for hers and to have her happy and still here. I cry and and drawn to little people wherever I go. I hope someday to have the experience of motherhood again. I want that experience. It wont take away from my love I have for Maya. Maya will always be my first and so special because she and I did everything together.

It is hard to know what I will feel like doing tomorrow. But I know you, Maya Grace will be on my mind all day long. I miss you so much.