Sunday, June 14, 2009

Warm light under the Willow Tree

I have digressed in my coping and healing without you. You would think most everyday would be better then the last except for the occcasional holiday and milestone.

But for some reason this past week was impossible and felt similar to the weeks just after you left me. Sobbing for no reason a deep longing that can't be quenched.
I slept in your bed one night I hugged your favorite animals and cried until I finally fell asleep.

On one day I went out to the hammock to try to clear my mind. I laid there peacefully I looked up into the trees. I found a leaf with a pinhole size place in the middle. I held it up to my face and stared through the hole like I could stare straight through and see you.
Then out of nowhere the tears came fast and contionously for a long time. I looked at my arm and I had a nickle sized spot of light on my arm bouncing around. I felt it was you. Logically this makes little sense. But I kept crying and would not take my eyes off the spot until the spot disappeared. I felt like the spot knew my tears and could sense the small comfort it brought me for those minutes. Like it was keeping my lonely soul company.

Many days I don't know if I will find happiness like I knew with you.
I don't know what it will take to forgive myself for working so much. I wish I was with you so much more. I sometimes wonder if you loved me despite my inadequate mothering at times because I was new at being a mom and we were figuring it all out together. And most of all I hope that you know just how much I love you. This second and every second of everyday from the moment I found out I was pregnant with you.

You are still so remembered and talked about. I only wish on this evening while I am missing you so much I could reach out and see your sweet face and hear your cute voice.

I Love you Maya Grace forever!



faizelvallario said...

MyB Casino has been quietly constructing a popularity for itself because it was launched in 2017. Sporting an expert consumer interface that’s designed to draw critical players, there’s little question that it’ll turn out to be much more well-liked. The former is a 250% a lot as} $1,000 supply that comes with 35x wagering necessities, whereas the latter is a 300% a lot as} $3,000 supply that comes with 45x wagering necessities. Both require a promo code, which you’ll find 카지노 사이트 on net site}. Despite the modest number of video games, there are also day by day slots tournaments and a handful of exclusive video games that you simply won’t find anyplace else. Instead, it’s all concerning the high quality and delight of the sport, since there are very few variants of this sport available anyplace.

lachlannkaczmarek said...

Understanding volatility is also be|can be} essential in your slot gaming enjoyment. Some slots even let you choose the volatility level in your game. You shall be paying for that with fewer and lower worth wins. If you win on a branded slot, the probabilities are that goes to be|will probably be} from an infrequent bonus spherical and you will have have} been very 1xbet lucky. When you get a bonus awarded model spanking new|for brand new} account registration, deposit match orfree spins offer, you will most probably find might have} a turnover requirement. Often any money winnings from free spins could should be played through before they flip into withdrawable money.