Monday, December 24, 2007

Eve of Christmas

This Christmas paved the way for new traditions and a fresh new perspective on the year to come

As easily as New Years resolutions are to make as they are to break. Maybe even easier to break I suppose.
I don't have any resolutions. But a few weeks ago I had a cool experience with a really spiritual lady. She told me I was an empath. I am sad with all those around me plus dealing with the sadness/depression of my own "stuff" I needed to let it go. I needed to let them deal with there own pain. Be compassionate but don't absorb myself with others problems.
That really resonated with me and it really gave me permission to kind of take care of Me. I think it wont be something I do for a month and forget. I know that it makes me a better friend, girlfriend and daughter along the way of my process of being honest, taking the time to do what I need for me in the here and now.

So as I sit at Tom's parents home I am remind that "tradition" is not what is important. Although I love Tradition and am excited to start traditions of my own with my familiy, friends and Tom that is not what defines us nor does it truly make us happy.
The people that surround us during these traditions keep us going, make us feel loved and we want to start traditions because we want to ensure they are a part of our life every year in the future. We want our children to pass along some of those traditions that they learned from us. I know I was heavy on tradition with Maya. From us having our Mondays together and go to Einstein Bagels and read books and go have Monday afternoon adventures. To annual reunions with family, and friends. But then she died and the tradition kind of flew out of the window. And a new man came in. He brought his wonderful lovely family with him. With all their new traditions and love and now we start from scratch. And you know what that sounds great to me.

I got all my thick brown locks cut off. About 15 inches when it was all said and done I think. I was only sad for the fact that this hair had been around with Maya. But I feel a million times lighter and really kind of Ok. Right now. I don't know what I will say in an hour. But for now life is alright.

I appreciated all the people that were with me at the party, my girls that came to the salon. And the calls from Kathy and family yesterday.
I know that My friends and family are how I get through the day to day.

I love you. Have a really lovely Christmas!


1 comment:

Amy S. said...

I think that sounds great :) My family thought and talked about you a lot these past couple of days (as always) and were hoping that you were feeling alright. You really sound like you're starting to heal. I hope you were able to smile and laugh this Christmas.
I am so excited about this website because I was kind of at a loss after you deleted your myspace - I used to go and look at your Maya pictures at least once a week. Now there is this entire beautiful site all her own!
Miss you Jenn, want to see you as soon as you have a chance. Love you